Generation: Gamerz Review: Super Smash Brothers Brawl

Posted by Thomas CigDangle Balistreri, Dec 31, 2008 06:00

{tag [Review]} {tag [Wii]}

I have played some bad games in my day, and honestly, I don't expect every title to be a hit.  Even powerhouse developers and publishers, including the first-party gang, drop the ball from time to time. These are things I understand, and therefore, I never like to trash talk their hard work.

Super Smash Bros Brawl 01That is, of course, until I am forced to read review after review of literary masturbation.  I've seen it, and called fellow reviewers on this sort of thing before.  Though I'm often reluctant to do so, I feel a certain sense of duty that drives me to write my dissenting opinion.  I think this is what the lone justice on the U.S. Supreme Court must feel when he is forced to put into words the reason for his difference of opinion.

The first thing you must understand is that I have never played another Super Smash Brothers title, ever.  But I was very excited to play this game, one that seemed to have a collection of Nintendo All-Stars, including characters from some of my favorite games.  So it is with this mindset and frame of reference I sat down and played Brawl.

Graphics: 70%
Definitely the strongest category for this title, the graphics are just what you might expect from a Wii title: a little muddled, but still pretty in its own right.  The characters are all faithfully rendered at a quality that ought to look fabulous on your 27-inch standard definition tube, but disappointing once you move to something akin to a 46-inch HD screen.

Super Smash Bros Brawl 05 The character animations are limited but well implemented, and the environments, beautiful and varied, are the single best thing about this title.

Audio: 70%
Much like the graphics, the audio is on par for a decent Wii title: better than average, but short of spectacular.  There is a huge library of original and “borrowed” battle music, with 36 composers working on the game’s score.  If you really like a particular piece, you can utilize the game’s “My Music” option: a nice touch.

Gameplay: 20%
BORING!  I really can’t say that enough about this title.  The real lack of attack variety and the less than lackluster controls make this title nothing more than a piece of fanboy porn.  The cast of characters is an obvious attempt to make up for an almost complete lack of gameplay, but it just doesn't work. I thought it may have been me, but after inviting my teenage daughter and my girlfriend to try their hand, my worst fears were confirmed: I just wasted $50.  I would go on, but it just seems like I'm already beating a dead horse. 

Controls: 40%
Simply put, completely ignoring the motion sensing capabilities of the Wii Remote (you know the thing that makes the Wii something more than a white GameCube?) is completely unforgivable. 

Super Smash Bros Brawl 10

Why on earth you would ever make a game for the Wii that ignores this key feature of the platform is beyond me.  What surprises me even more is the fact that this idiotic move comes from Nintendo, and not some third party company that was forced to develop the game without the benefit of access to the hardware.

Secondly, I am told the allure of the SSB franchise is its simplicity.  Well, yes, it’s simple.  And yes, anyone could most likely pick it up and play it.  But honestly, the controls suck.  They are BORING.  Two buttons and a smash attack or two?  That’s it?  Are you kidding me?  Is this an NES title, or something for the seventh generation of consoles?  Allure…nothing.  The controls suck, and the addition of the "Final Smash" does nothing to save it.

Multiplayer: 40%
I may have been a little generous in scoring this section, but what Wii owner could blame me?  It is just really nice to see another online multiplayer Wii title.  The problem is, that Nintendo’s online system is still just an infant, barely out of the womb.  At times, it took me up to 20 minutes to connect to a game.  Once I finally did, the connection was choppy at times, which was quite distracting.  Thankfully, SSBB's pathetically simple gameplay made it easy to recover from these events.

Super Smash Bros Brawl 11Summary: 48%
If you are a fan of the Super Smash Brothers series, you may want to make this the next addition to your collection.  It’s difficult for me to know that, having never played the other games in the series.  After all, the reviewers included in Metacritic's 94% scoring of SSBB must know something I don't.  But I feel no remorse for the score I've given.

Simply put, if you’ve never played a SSB title before, don’t start now, unless you need another coaster to add to your collection.


For more video game reviews on this and many others head to Game Rankings

Our Rating for Generation: Gamerz Review: Super Smash Brothers Brawl
0.0 Overall

Rating: 0.0, votes: 0

Search the site:
Loading top gaming stocks...
Error loading top gaming stocks